Cook meals with the arranged partner of the day, clean the rooms, clean the bathrooms, sweep the field, laundry, deliver anything that is given to the gate guards, prepare papers and ink for Hijikata, serve tea for Hijikata and massage Hijikata when asked… what’s with the last three schedules? I may have been assigned as a servant but I am not his wife! I sighed as I wondered what kind of infernal position I had gotten myself into. Ah- talking about marriage, don’t I have an engagement? Mother arranged it for me when I was fifteen but I kept running away. Reading a piece of paper written with neat beautiful words, I lost myself to the flow of my thoughts. “-llo?! Hello?! Sayo-chan, are you alright? Dead?” A voice called out for me. I knew who the voice belonged to; Okita Souji. He stood in front of me, waving his hand before my eyes. “Uh, I’m fine, just thinking about some matters.” I gave a tight smile as I folded the paper and kept it in my sleeve.
“Matters? Like your marriage? Impossible, impossible! Like Hijikata-san had said the other day, you lack sexual appeal. Don’t do it.” Souji began poking his finger on my cheek, bursting into laughter. I swore Souji was purposely being annoying or he could guess people’s minds. There should be a time when he swallows his own words… but men don’t care much about marriage and stuff women usually bother with… damn it. I mentally cursed my own luck. “By the way, since you’re his personal servant now, I guess it’s time for me to resign from receiving letters and deliver it to the demon! Well, ask the gate guards for the letters for me, would you? See you at lunch!” There, his specialty of pushing responsibility to someone else and running before the victim had any say about it. Off he went to where he wanted to be. Why would Souji bother clinging so close to me ever since he brought me into Shinsengumi? He comes uninvited and he runs off as he wishes. Nevertheless, I stomped my way to the gate and asked for the letters from two guards who gave them to me willingly. They must have known me from yesterday’s uproar. After receiving a decent greeting and the letters, I took my heels to deliver those letters to the demon. Off I went to the lair—I mean room. From the pile of letters which I received, I became curious of what the letters contained so I scanned around if any eyes were on me. When I saw and sensed no one, I put my naughty fingers on it and peeked into the letters one by one. To my greatest surprise and horror, they were love letters! It annoyed me more than I expected. Why would those women fall for a bad man? Wait, I’m wrong. Women love bad men. Fumbling the letters, I saw a letter sticking out from the group. The neat writing was conspicuous to my eyes. Curiosity tempted my eyes to look at it. Please…visit Shimabara soon…? Oh my God. That actually-decent-looking demon vice-commander is a regular to the red district?! How many letters have I just read? Counting the letters, my surprise doubled. I was very certain that it was an easy mistake that those love letters ended up at Shinsengumi. The postman must have delivered them to the wrong address. I mean, Hijikata-san has good looks that’s certain but do those women know him? Do those women know what he does? As I pondered about the unfairness for a man like Hijikata to receive so many love letters, I wasn’t aware that I had arrived at his room. When I finally snapped out of my own thoughts, the door was suddenly slid open. Hijikata came out and was startled at my presence that he almost bumped into me. Of course, I was startled as well. I didn’t expect such coincidence. “Can’t you speak to show that you’re here? If I had bumped into you, who knew that you might trip, fall backwards, hit one of the pillars and die?” Hijikata grimaced, entering his room again and sat facing his desk. By this time, I was almost at my limit. What a foul-mouthed man! Why on earth is he so popular? I entered his room and passed the pile of love letters to him. “Delivery.” “Are you not going to talk back to me?” Hijikata asked, taking the pile of letters. “Thanks. Must be Souji’s impudent work.” He added. “Why should I bother responding to nonsense? It’s waste of time.” I answered. Calm down myself. Don’t be impulsive. Wise woman lets karma does its job…don’t be provoked-- “Is that so? I thought you have fallen for me already which causes you to have no say.” Hijikata’s lips curved into a smirk. He took a box from one of the drawers beside his desk and placed that pile of letters inside without checking the contents. Calm down, Sayo! This is a trial! I swallowed the lump in my throat forcefully and took a deep breath. “I have an engagement arranged anyway. It is only a matter of time before I leave here.” I replied with every virtue I had. He wouldn’t be able to tackle this down or so I thought. He tackled me down the next second with a shameful truth. “There was a reply from your family that the engagement is canceled though. Your partner said he didn’t want any woman from Shinsengumi.” Hijikata continued, making me speechless with every sentence he spoke. “…If there’s nothing else, I’ll take my leave now.” I gave a quick bow and left the room. To have an engagement canceled by the other side was a disgrace. Reaching this point, I was somewhat curious what my fiancé looked like and what kind of a man he was. I thought with my engagement intact I could wriggle my way out of Shinsengumi but it was no longer possible. It was all Shinsengumi’s fault. What have I done to deserve such outcome? “You are dismissed. Good work.” Π Heading to the kitchen behind the hall used by fourth to eighth unit, I trudged to do my next chore. Sighing every once and then I washed up ingredients for lunch. I became lost in my thoughts as I kept myself busy. Who gets to decide that a woman unavailable for marriage is a worthless woman? Who gets to decide that woman can’t live on her own? I can live just fine without a man. I can support myself. “Hey, there!” A foreign voice called. “So, you are Hijikata’s woman, Sayo?” “Stop calling me that or I will not cook for you lot.” I threatened, aiming usuba bocho[1] at him. Right, I’m chopping up green onion. “I’m just kidding, put the knife down! My name is Toudou Heisuke! Captain of Fourth unit! Nice to meet you!” The boy—young man named Heisuke greeted with a grin. He was not a big guy and he was probably just inches taller than me. His hair was tied into a high ponytail. A scar was visible on his forehead. He wore a navy-blue kimono absent of their uniform haori in bright blue and white triangles. Heisuke was pushed away abruptly by a taller man with short haircut. His skin was tanned and there was a small scar on his right cheek. He was wearing dirty-green kimono. “My name is Nagakura Shinpachi! Looking pretty, Vice-commander’s mistress! Do take good care of our brother Hijikata!” Shinpachi smiled broadly as he leaned on the door frame. His build was bigger than Heisuke and he had thin goatee. “I said not to call me that.” I threw a nakiri bocho[2] which was at my left hand’s range at the wall near where Shinpachi leaned on. No, I didn’t intend to hurt anyone. I was pretty confident with my aiming skill. I used to train myself to a dojo before I had that incident and before my father passed away. “Woah! That’s dangerous!” Shinpachi yelped as he moved away from the door frame and let another man showed up. “And my name is Harada Sanosuke! Captain of Fifth Unit. Nice to meet you!” Greeted the man who was usually called Sano. His hair was long and braided. I guessed he was around Shinpachi’s height which made Heisuke the shortest among them. He wore deep red kimono, matching his bright personality. “Hey Shinpachi, you haven’t told her which unit you belong!” He continued, nudging Shinpachi. “Ah! I’m the captain of Second unit! If you have any trouble, just speak up! We will surely help you out!” Shinpachi added. “Not because of the rumor that ‘I’m Hijikata-san’s woman’ right?” I purposely emphasized on the gossip. They should have gotten my code already seeing their apologetic faces. “Definitely not! Nope! Definitely not! Ahahaha…” They joked. I kept my eyes on them as I didn’t really know how to respond to their introductions. They must have known me from the uproar last night. Seeing them so energetic and hyped up, maybe they were the ones who spread the rumor. Instead of staring at them, I turned my eyes to the ingredients and began chopping carrots. “Nice to meet you. If you don’t have nothing else to tell, I suggest you return to your own post before Hijikata-san finds out.” I replied boringly. “As I thought, you three are not doing the job.” Souji turned up, both arms were folded in front of his chest. “The entrance is chaotic you know. Hurry and call Hijikata-san!” He pushed them away, smiling as usual. “What is going on?” I asked. “About that… A woman came with a naginata[3] asking to return you.” Souji said, scratching the back of his head. Naginata? Oh no. I felt my adrenaline rushed through my whole body as I started running out of the kitchen. It was indeed a chaos. It was a disaster! Π “What’s with the noise?” Hijikata who must have been summoned by other soldier approached the entrance to see for himself what had happened. Several men were sprawled on the ground but he did not express any dismay. It was as if he was used to it. “Commander Kondo, Vice-commander Hijikata! A woman brings a halberd and asks for your servant!” A man reported. “You don’t have to be here.” Hijikata looked behind him and saw Kondo dismissing the soldier. Even the commander was curious of the ruckus. “Of course, I have to.” Kondo retorted. He wore ash-brown kimono and he had the same souhatsu hair style like Hijikata. His build was huge but slightly shorter than Hijikata. His features were rough and his mouth was wide. He approached the woman bravely. “Madame, please calm down. I am Kondo Isami, Commander of Shinsengumi. You can tell me your wish directly.” “My name is Masaharu Akio and I have business with the vice-commander, not the commander.” A feminine voice spoke. “I’ll have my daughter returned to me today, Shinsengumi’s demon vice-commander!” She pointed her halberd to Hijikata’s direction as she declared war. Dressed in gray kimono with tsubushi shimada[4] hairstyle, was my mother. Mother! I hastened my steps to where Kondo was. She came here for me…fearless of Shinsengumi. But if I kept her here, she would be in danger. I must let her retreat. “Mother! Please go home! It’s dangerous here!” I tried to convince her. This is going to be difficult. “Sayo! Please come home with me! Your engagement can still be saved! I can speak to his family! Once you’re back, surely you can get married!” Mother looked flustered and desperate. I understood that, but my pride and honor were at stake. “No.” I refused. “Why not?! Silly daughter, there’s no other happiness than to get married to a great family of samurai!” Mother attempted again, preparing a stance. She was serious about bringing me back. She was ready to use force if the situation required her to. “What’s so big about a samurai family? He canceled the engagement himself and that has proven that he has no courage just because I am in Shinsengumi. There is no worth in such man!” I clenched my fists. I knew clearly that my being in Shinsengumi had shown me that my supposed future husband was not serious in our engagement, but still, I felt a bit anger aimed at the group that took me in. “What nonsense are you saying?!” Mother was surprised to hear what I had said. Still, she was stubborn. “Return at once or else!” She demanded. “Or else you ask my future husband who has betrayed his vow to come and apologize! If he’s not capable of saying a single apology, it shows how low he is even if he is in the samurai family. If I were to marry such man, then happiness would have lost its meaning!” I exclaimed. A moment of silence wrapped both my mother and I before I approached my mother and gave her a hug. Gently, I said, “Please go home, mother. I will be fine.” My mother returned my embrace and cried. After she had calmed down she finally returned home. Hence, the chaos was solved. After watching my mother disappeared through the gate, I turned to face Kondo. Standing in front of him, I felt myself reducing in size. It was rude for my mother to ignore him and It was worse when my mother and I quarreled with him being out of place. “I apologize for what had happened and I am willing to take any form of punishment or even being banished out of Shinsengumi.” I bowed deeply as I apologized, inserting an indirect persuasion to flee out of Shinsengumi. If Kondo was as scary as what people described him to be, he would surely kick me out. However, I was wrong. “Oh no, please don’t apologize. It is our Souji’s impudent job that puts you in. We will be needing your service from now on. I will make sure that my men treat you well. I will guarantee your safety.” Kondo who had naturally rough features looked frightening but he was a kind man with a tender smile. His ‘tough man’ mask crumbled instantly as he returned my bow. ‘Handsome man is good. However, well-mannered man, triumphs above all.’ I was so impressed and surprised at the truth of who Kondo Isami was that I promptly created a haiku[5] in my mind. Kondo Isami was a huge obstacle for me to get out of Shinsengumi. “In addition, I agree with your point. A samurai has to fulfill his vow and that is a must.” Kondo chuckled. His eyes squinted and formed half-moon shape. I had never seen any man with such adorable gestures and personality. “Thank you, Kondo-san.” I bowed again. “Ah, it’s nothing. Right, Toshi?” He turned his eyes to Hijikata who approached from behind. “Kondo-san, you are too kind. If that woman was not in her right mind, she could have cut you in half.” Hijikata sighed. “But now I know what I need to do.” “Thank me, Toshi. I am glad to be useful.” Kondo jested, chuckling teasingly as he placed a hand on Hijikata’s shoulder. “We can talk about this in private, Kondo-san.” Hijikata, although faint, made a small smile. After his conversation ended with Kondo, he turned his eyes to me. “Come to my room after your afternoon chore is done.” Under the order, I returned to the kitchen and finished up the cooking. Bringing tray by tray to the dining room, most of my job that afternoon was accomplished. I ate my share of lunch before marching to Hijikata’s quarter. “Excuse me, Hijikata-san?” I knocked on the door leading to Hijikata’s room. “Ah, come in and have a sit. It won’t take long.” He said. Entering and set myself sitting across him who seemed occupied with his brush, ink and paper, my eyes flew to his broad shoulders and straight back. Although it was concealed by clothes, I could see that he was trained. However, rumors said he was cruel and that he tortured a man but no one ever spewed a word about his swordsmanship while people wouldn’t stop yapping about Souji’s swordsmanship. Souji himself did not seem like a strong man with his slim build. “The woman who brought a halberd this noon is your mother, correct?” He questioned as he turned around and looked at me intently. “Yes.” I replied, staring back intently as well. “A woman with a weapon must have belonged to a samurai family. Are you by any chance capable of some martial arts?” Hijikata kept his eyes on me without blinking. “Short sword and a little bit of halberd. I haven’t practiced for a year.” I kept my stare without blinking as well, taking it as a challenge. His eyebrows are really neat. His eyelashes are long too. “I’ll place you under training with Yamazaki starting from tomorrow. Do you understand?” Hijikata proceeded. His eyes were getting teary. “Yes—eh? What?” I blinked my eyes. I lost the staring contest. Damn it. [1] Japanese vegetable knife. Rectangle shaped. [2] Japanese vegetable knife. Similar of modern knife. [3] Halberd. Weapon similar of a spear. [4] A top knot for women. It is flat and mostly worn by older women. [5] A poem that is consisted of 5-7-5 syllabic system. Curious about the continuation? Purchase it here!
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AuthorBotan is my original historical fiction which is still on-going. It tells the adventure of Sayo who yearns for acknowledgement in Shinsengumi, truth about her father's death and meaning to her happiness. Archives |