I don’t feel hunger or thirst. I don’t feel joy or gloom. I feel… vacant. Everywhere is white. There is no single thing that is special. Just pure white. Time doesn’t seem to exist although I can feel it. I don’t have a body or rather, I can’t see it. To ‘feel’ is the least of what I can do since I can’t see even the outlines of my body. Being restrained in this cage the whole of my life, I have been facing nothingness. Within this box I think—I think and I ponder. I ponder and wonder about myself and about myself when I get out of the box. When will I be released? Will I be freed from this place? An odd feeling makes me restless so I prop myself up from the floor. Opening my eyes to scan around the little space I am confined in, my eyes find their way to stare at something bizarre. I know what it is but it has never existed within this room. It is a rectangle. It has black borders framing the view it shows. The borders are plain and ordinary. However, the view it displays is exquisite.
“It’s outside!” Rushing to the rectangle, I realize that it is too high for me to reach. Still, the view keeps me mesmerized. It is the sky at night. Glowing stars and shining moon…just their sight makes me reach my hands out. There’s dark blue, yellowish moon and blinking silver stars. It’s all colorful and amazing. I can’t wait to get out. Smiling wide upon the exquisite panorama which the window frames, I feel excitement coursing within myself. Unable to do anything to reach the window, I sat down with my eyes transfixed at the view. Staring and wondering are all I can do. My eyes become heavy gradually. Unknown to me, I fall asleep on the floor. I have no idea how long I have slept until my ears react to a noise. “Hey, can you smell that?” A voice seems to echo within the room. The familiar yet unfamiliar voice wakes me up from my slumber. What smells? Sniffing around, I can indeed smell something ‘fragrant’. Searching around, my eyes catch the figure of what it seems to be a table and a bowl of soup. They are all outlines of shadow. Lifting it up, I notice that my body is taking shape. I can see shadows forming the outlines of my body. Joy fills me up as the soup I drink warms me up. It feels as if life itself is being transferred into me. The little tingly sensation spreads within my chest, supplying me with contentment. “Is it delicious?” There it is again. The voice rings and I know immediately that he is behind me. Spinning to see who he is, I see no one. “Can you see me?” He asks. I can’t see him but I know where he is from his voice. As I shake my head, my eyes scan around for him. Deep within my heart, I wish that my eyes can come to see his outlines at least. “How did you come here?” is my first question because it is obvious that there is no entrance or exit. How is it possible that he exist? I don’t even know how I come to exist. What a stupid thing to ask. He just exists just like how I do. “I just...exist.” He answers what I have expected. “Can you touch me?” I ask again. Perhaps, if we can touch each other, we can get to know each other…? Time passes and I feel nothing. “Have you tried?” “I can’t touch you.” He chuckles a little. There is a hint of sadness but also excitement in his tone which I don’t fathom. “But, I will be able to, someday.” He adds. “I will be able to see you?” His additional information piques my interest. “Are you a hero? A saviour?” “We will meet soon. And, no, I am not a hero.” “Will you take me out of here?” “I can’t. But you will one day.” Mysterious. It is the only word that spins in my mind. I have no idea what he is saying. Sighing, I place myself sitting on the floor. Once my buttocks touch the floor, I can sense something is changing. Looking around, I spot shadow of outlines around the table. They are chairs. Curious, I get up on my feet and walk towards one of the chairs. Slowly, as I convince myself, I sit on the chair. The feeling of the hard wood is there. It feels real and it feels… magical. “Do you like it?” The invisible man is then given a nickname by me—Uncle Vacant. Uncle Vacant asks, pulling another chair across me and sit—that’s what I imagine. “If only I can see more colours here, it will be brilliant.” I respond bluntly. It is what I wish and hope in my heart. “You can when the time is right.” He answers. There it is again, the feeling as if he knows everything. ‘Swish!’ it sounds like wind. Reflexively, I turn towards the source which appears to be… something that I don’t know. By the white wall, black swirls form as if someone is drawing on it. It repeats itself for twice and finally, a rectangular frame around it is drawn. As if it is almost forgotten, a knob pops out a moment after a silence. It is a door. Approaching it, my hands reach out to feel the surface. Amazed by such a creation, I wonder who draws it. Every detail is well carved with precision. Not long, my hand reaches the knob. What is outside like? Turning the knob, I push to no avail. The door won’t budge. Why? There is another chuckle from behind. It is from Uncle Vacant. He seems amused with what I am doing. Pouting as I move away from the door, I remember the main question I must ask beforehand. “Who are you exactly?” “Why are you so curious about hero and outside?” He asks. For some unknown reasons, I know that he is smiling. He doesn’t even need me to explain or tell, he seems to know everything about me. “Do you want to get out of here so soon?” “Yes, but since you seem to know about hero… tell me about it first.” Thinking about the existence of hero, I wonder whether a hero has to be superb above average human? What makes a hero, hero? “A hero is strong.” Uncle Vacant answers. He has the interested sort of tone when he speaks. Is he happy? His answer makes me ponder about the evidence of hero. Hero is supposed to be strong, right? How to be strong? The word strong doesn’t really affect my life as I have no idea what strength truly means. As someone who is being confined so long in oblivion, I have no idea why strength matters. “How do you define a strong person?” I continue to ask; quenching my thirst to know. “A strong person… is someone who is dedicated to his own words.” “Why?” “A strong person knows how to differentiate true and false and he stays to his own form of ‘truth’ regardless of what his surroundings tell him. We live in a society in which the society tries to form us to favor the way it is but we know that this world is not white or black. There is always a flaw. A strong person retains the positivity while letting go of the negativity.” What he has just said fills my mind with question marks. However, I have no idea what to ask. That is when I realize, Uncle Vacant is taking a shape. I can see his outlines now. “Hey, I can see you. I can see your shape. Do you think I can touch you now?” More interested in the fact that I might be able to touch him, I approach close and reach my palm out. A little scoff and a chuckle can be heard from Uncle Vacant. He reaches his palm out to meet mine. That moment, there is a lurch within my chest and temperature seems to rise from inside. What have I made? What have I done? I have no idea but, I know that I am close to understanding him. “Hey… what do I call you, mister?” “You will know what to call me when the time is ripe.” He replies with another boring answer. “Please?” I plead, crossing my fingers together in front of my chest. It is in vain, I have imagined. It turns out exactly like it. Uncle Vacant gives no answer. He might be thinking or he might be rejecting me bluntly. Since he doesn’t seem impressed with my half-hearted effort, I retract my hands and connect my palms together at my back and let my feet take command. I don’t understand why I have decided to walk around; perhaps, to stall the time or perhaps to think about the time? As I take each step around the room, my eyes which stare at the outlines of my feet slowly widen in amazement. I’m getting colors! Excite with the color of skin that surfaces, I bend down to touch my legs. Colors of nails and skin spread to my arms, making me jump around jauntily. Colors…Don’t I get to choose my skin color? Choose? Choice. Does a hero get to choose? Uncle Vacant did say that a strong person or a hero retains positivity and letting go of negativity. The word is at the tip of my tongue, but I can’t say it. What is the word for it? Being choosy? No. God, this is frustrating. It takes a while for me to finally get the word. During the moment of searching for the appropriate word, my black orbs witness the bizarre appearance of clothes. It is the outline over the outlines of my body. Then, it is smeared with color. However, it isn’t much of a color. It is white. Aha! There it is. The word! Rushing to the chair which I sat previously, I look at the blank space within the lines. “Being a strong person means being selective?” My cheeks lift, making me grin widely. I wonder what kind of answer he will give. It makes me anxious, causing excitement to rise. “It is more than just being selective. It is the dedication that counts. A strong person stands to his truth and doesn’t waver to others’ truths. He believes it to the end.” He says in a somewhat joyful tone. Is he happy that I am a curious being? For some reasons, it makes me glad. Listening to him speak, it causes my mind to work. It probably sounds easy but I know dedication is no easy job. It takes time, process and probably my whole life to be able to dedicate myself to something. “Excuse me for a while.” Uncle Vacant says as he marches towards the locked door. He seems to smooth his hand over the door for a while before holding on to the knob. “I’m going out for a while.” Uncle Vacant then turns the knob, opening the door effortlessly. Soon, his outlines disappear behind the closing door. Being left alone within the room, I feel a sudden lurch within myself which I can’t comprehend. Since Uncle Vacant appears, I have adapted to his presence. Am I taking it for granted? While Uncle Vacant is gone, boredom gnaws at me and makes me pace back and forth. When I am fed up with walking, I lie down and roll around, occasionally stare at the table or the chair which slowly takes color of ash brown. What if he doesn’t come back? Such thought inflicts fear in me and causes me to dash towards the door. Banging at the door as I call out for Uncle Vacant don’t work. I turn the knob but the door still doesn’t budge. Why won’t you open?! Nevertheless, I refuse to give up. I continue to turn the knob frantically as I push the door with my shoulder. It finally opens! “Where…am I?” Contradicting to what I have been seeing, it is all black. Nothing appears no matter where I look. “You should disappear.” A voice whispers. Finding no source, I feel my body trembles. “You are disgusting, go away.” It continues. There is a chill that courses down by spine, frightening me. “Useless.” It keeps coming at me, closer and closer to me. Circling my arms around myself, I can’t stop shivering. “Die.” It laughs. What is this? Is this outside? Isn’t outside supposed to be beautiful? Uncle… Vacant? Feeling a presence nearing, I found my comfort back. However, it isn’t Uncle Vacant. The presence gave a creepy sensation. The closer it gets to me, the colder it feels. My instincts are telling me to run and that is what I do immediately. Running back to the door and turning the knob with shaky hands, I swing the door open and throw myself inside. Shutting the door behind me, I try to catch my breath. “Where have you been?” Uncle Vacant’s voice… is so tender. I just realize. “…outside is…not beautiful at all. It is all dark.” “Don’t rush. You are not ready.” He says. “How do you know I’m not ready?” I look at him, urging for answer. “I know a lot about you.” “Are you God?” I ask. With each question that he answers, each of them makes me even more curious. Yet, with each answer he gives, it always gives a new discovery. “No, I’m not. I’m an ordinary human. You will find out one day when it is time for you to step out of this box.” Uncle Vacant explains. His voice seems to fade and my eyes become heavy. I need a…rest. Succumb into my slumber, I regain my peace. I have no idea how long I have slept but I am awakened by a sound. ‘Tweet! Tweet!’ My ears perk up due to the sound. Immediately, my eyes glance around to spot the source. Slowly but surely, another window emerges across the first window. The crystal clear glass shows the excellent bright sun which shines strongly upon everything that’s under it. There are also creatures with wings, flying here and there as they chirp; brown, black, blue and yellow they are. “Beautiful birds, aren’t they?” Uncle Vacant comments. “Yes. Therefore, I wonder. What life outside is like with all those beauties.” I reply with my eyes still on the magnificent blue of sky. “Life outside is harsh despite its beauty. That’s why you have to be strong and you will.” He continues. At this point, I don’t really want to pay much attention to him. The beauty of the outside world is so graceful I can’t afford to take my eyes off it. Nevertheless, I feel the need to at least glance at him. The moment I lay my eyes on him, I witness the same miracle that has happened to me. He gets outlines of his clothes and firmer outlines of him. Yet, I still can’t see his face. ‘Creak’ There is another sound coming from behind me. I can sense that it is quite far from me. Spinning around to discover more things, I can see… a cupboard with its door open. “Those are your needs to prepare you for your life outside.” Uncle Vacant comments as he points at the cupboard. “Does hero exist outside?” Admiring the strong person we all entitle as a ‘hero’, I ask for confirmation. Uncle Vacant is just like an encyclopedia. He knows most things that I don’t. “You are ready to be your own hero.” He adds. “By being strong, dedicated and kind. You can be a hero that helps others.” Uncle Vacant stands up from his seat and walks towards the mysterious door. He places his palm there and smoothly caresses the wall of the door. “How to be…strong on my own?” I wonder what he is doing. Facing him, I keep my eyes on him. It is this moment that the door he is touching smears in dark brown while the knob turns black. “There will be people who will help you grow. A man and a woman will aid you in your journey of life. More will aid you in your adulthood.” He explains. As he explains, colors emerge. He wears a white t-shirt with a pair of black trousers as well as a pair of black leather shoes. His hair is as black as a charcoal. Outlines of his jaws, ears, lips, nose and eyes turn out well-sculpted. His eyes are deep and mysterious but kind. “Who are you?” I have no idea how I come to such conclusion but I know I am not wrong. There is something between me and Uncle Vacant whose looks are significant and handsome. “I have been waiting for you to start your journey of life.” He smiles and it is gentle and fine. “Are you my hero?” Approaching him as if it is what I am supposed to do. I reach a hand out to caress his cheek and have a good look of him. Everything about him is so precious. It is as if I have been waiting to meet him. My sight turns blurry and my cheeks feel the tingling sensation from droplets of tears. “I am your father and you are my child.” Father places his hands on my cheeks and wipes away my tears. “You are ready, my child. Go on, open the door.” He says with the charming smile he has. “I’ll make you proud… Dad.” I smile as I walk my way towards the door. I am ready to face the world.
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AuthorI am an amateur author and this is my web where i will spread my stories in the vast world called internet. Nice to meet you everyone! Archives
January 2018
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